Scared of Kindness

Have you ever noticed that the kinder you are to someone, the more distant they become? It’s confusing, shouldn’t kindness bring people closer? Instead, it sometimes pushes them away. Why does this happen in personal and interpersonal relationships?

Does Kindness Make People Uncomfortable?

When you show warmth and kindness, some people don’t know how to react. They might feel suspicious, wondering if you have an ulterior motive. Others might feel unworthy of kindness and struggle to accept it. Have you ever been kind to someone, only for them to seem distant or uninterested? It can feel like a rejection, but is it really about you, or is it about them?

Is It Easier to Stay Emotionally Distant?

Many people have learned to keep their guard up. If someone has been hurt before, they may see kindness as a risk. What if they start to trust you, only to be let down later? Instead of embracing kindness, they withdraw to protect themselves. Have you ever met someone who seemed to push people away just when they got too close?

Are We Addicted to Emotional Barriers?

There’s a toxic cycle in relationships—people crave connection, but when they receive it, they shut down. It’s almost like a form of self-sabotage. They might feel that emotional closeness makes them vulnerable, so they disengage before it can happen. Have you ever felt like the more you care, the less the other person does?

What Can We Do About It?

The truth is, we can’t control how others react to kindness. But we can choose to be kind without expecting anything in return. If someone pulls away, it doesn’t mean we did something wrong. It just means they might not be ready to receive it.

Instead of taking it personally, what if we saw kindness as a gift we give freely? What if we let go of the need for a certain response and just focused on being true to ourselves? Would that change the way we see our relationships?